The Mediterranean diet: why it could lead to a more satisfying sex life | Diets and regimes
Name: The Mediterranean diet.
Age: Coming for 60 years.
Effect: Positively tumescent.
Oh no, am I going to need a sick bucket for this? Not at all. The health benefits of the Mediterranean diet have been well known for decades. The combination of olive oil, legumes, fruits and vegetables, and relatively small amounts of red meat is incredibly good for the human body.
Why am I so nervous? Do not be nervous. Observational studies have shown that this diet has many benefits. It has been claimed to reduce the risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, depression, and dementia.
Law. Plus, it might help with erectile dysfunction.
OK, see, this is it. I knew you couldn’t keep this healthy. There is nothing wrong with having a better sex life. It is believed that erectile dysfunction affects around a third of men at any given time. It is a serious illness.
And olive oil helps? It can, yes. Men with high blood pressure are twice as likely to experience erectile dysfunction as their peers with normal blood pressure, according to research presented at this year’s European Society of Cardiology Congress. And the Mediterranean diet is great for lowering blood pressure.
What can make things work downstairs again? Yes. The researchers found that men who closely followed the Mediterranean diet had a higher coronary flow reserve (meaning they were better able to increase blood flow when needed) and better erectile performance.
Wow! We should all follow the Mediterranean diet. No, really, we should. Especially the part on the red meat. The Mediterranean Diet Foundation states that you should try to eat no more than two servings of red meat per week. Not only is it better for your health, it’s also better for the environment.
It’s fine, but I don’t like sex so I don’t see the benefits of the Mediterranean diet. I’m glad you brought it up. What if I told you that the diet has another benefit?
I listen. Well, in 2014, Spanish researcher Fernando Azpiroz looked at the Mediterranean diet for other benefits and found that it can reduce the incidence of farts by 28% as well.
Astonishing. It’s not the best farts reducer, however. For this we must adopt a much more regulated anti-pet diet. But no one is going to hit 28%.
So you’re saying that people who follow the Mediterranean diet are healthier, less prone to disease, have better sex, and fart nearly a third less than their peers? That’s right. Out of interest, what did you have for breakfast this morning?
Three Mars bars and a steak. Well, at least that explains the smell.
Say: “I’ll have a Greek salad, please.” “
Do not say : “And a cold shower, just in case.”